Alone vs Lonely

I think it's time for another philosophical post. Today's topic is about independence, and the difference between being alone and being lonely. It's something that I finally understood last year at school, but has its own applications here in Amsterdam.

It seems to be "unacceptable" (whatever that means) to go out on your own. I'm not entirely sure why, but I think the implication is that you don't have any friends. And then you're a loser. And nobody will be friends with a loser. Except that's not it at all. I go out on my own all the time. (Unless I'm a loser and nobody has told me yet, in which case, please inform me!)

I go out to explore, to sight-see, to eat, to meet people, and quite frankly, just to be the only one making the decisions. Sure I love being with my friends, but it's a nice change to only have to respond to myself. I've gone to museums to see my favorite paintings alone; I've gone to a café to do homework and get a snack alone; and I've gone to the grocery store to plan my evening meals alone. It's just that. I am by myself and thus I am alone. But I am not lonely. I am independent.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with being lonely, it just requires different steps to be taken. For example, if I felt like I was lonely when going to a museum, I could ask a friend to tag along. (Guess what? I have because I like company, too!) If I was lonely when eating, I could suggest to some friends that we go out for dinner. (I've done that too--good conversations are hard to come-by these days.) It isn't that I don't know how, it's just that sometimes I just want to be by myself. I want to be alone.

I don't really care what other people think, because really, why does it matter? I'm enjoying what I'm doing and I'm comfortable. I don't feel forced to be by myself and I don't feel like it's ostracizing me from my friends. I just like it. Do you?

I encourage you, dear reader, to try it too. Try exploring the city/town/area you live in on your own or going to a new café by yourself. Try biking for the sake of seeing the terrain, or walking to meet a friend somewhere. It's rewarding but it takes patience. It takes patience to be comfortable getting lost and knowing that you'll be able to find your way back. It takes patience to realize that you're going to be okay on your own. It takes patience to be able to fully trust yourself. But you'll get there.

Have any fun adventures? Leave a message in the comments below!

Food Update.

I've already had a few requests for some pictures of the city itself in addition to the delicious food so look for those in an upcoming post. Right now I need to upload some food pictures--I've gotten a bit behind!

One of the most picturesque double rainbows I have ever seen. It was right outside our window, too!

Recent shopping trip. Take note of the Marzipan (almond paste) in particular and the amount of veggies in general.

One night I sautéed green beans with onions, garlic, and mushrooms.  I didn't even set the smoke alarm off! It was good.

I went to Café de Jaren to study on my own and ordered a mango smoothie with lime-coconut-chicken soup. Mmm. 

I call it an "Amsterdam Sandwich" because it's a great to-go lunch. It consists of a roll--half with berry jam half with tomato spread--salami and cheese. I assure you it's delicious.

These peper flavored crackers are way too addictive. 

Another night I sautéed the rest of my mushrooms with red peppers and some garlic. YUM.

Right around Vondelpark there was a great sushi restaurant I went to with my friends Annelise and Javon. On the left is tuna w/cream cheese and on the right are basic cucumber rolls. (Note: sesame seeds in sushi = THE BEST.)

So one night I fried some potatoes...

Penne pasta w/ salad!

I don't like coffee, but I wanted a cappuccino. Go figure. (I think I just wanted to get that tiny little cookie because the cookie alone was worth the price of the drink.)

Only 20 Euros worth of groceries. Here we have the addition of fruit like raspberries and strawberries. 

Stroopwaffles! A Dutch delicacy. I don't even know how to explain them. They're buttery and heavenly goodness.

Sex & Drugs & Culture

Today's the first day that I actually miss Detroit. I never thought I'd say that, but I really do miss the diversity that I grew up with at home. Amsterdam is well full of ... well, White Europeans. Am I surprised? Not really, but any kind of diversity beyond that is quite absent and it bothers me. I'm now part of the majority (due to my heritage) with the exception of baring an American Accent (and being Jewish).

You'd think that for all the radical policies that Amsterdam is known for--specifically its open and relaxed approach to drugs & sexuality & gay culture-- that it would be a very liberated and free city. But it's not. At least not in the way that I was expecting. Take the gay community, for example. Amsterdam was one of the first places to legalize gay marriage, and thus I was expecting a very much visible gay community. Nope, not here. Sure there are rainbow flags, bookstores, and sex shops that caters towards that specifically community, but you don't see people walking down the streets holding hands or other public acknowledgments. It might be that people feel like they're "accepted" and don't need to show it, but I don't think that's quite right. I think they're merely "tolerated" and this lose any sense of agency or voice when they try and be heard. Lets face it: nobody wants to be tolerated; we all want to be accepted for who we are and how we identify. It's become an industry and commercialized. Just like the drug industry.

As a point of clarification: marijuana isn't legal here. It's just condoned instead of criminalized. If you want to use soft drugs (hard drugs are illegal) you've got safe access to them. But it's really about making money. Locals don't really frequent coffee-shops here and it's mostly international visitors that do. If you haven't heard, there's a new law that's taking effect on January 1, 2013 that will only allow residents of the Netherlands to legally use weed. I can't see how this is helpful: it's only going to create a black market for drugs--people will start selling them on the streets or underground--making access unreliable and unsafe. There are other ways for Amsterdam to clean up its image if that's what it's going for here.

Like regulation. Sex workers are part of a union here and they have rights. (News flash: there are Red Light districts in the USA. Not only that but most of them aren't regulated.) But again, the Red Light District is a huge tourist draw. There's a separate area that locals tend to go instead. It's highly commercialized and profitable. If only we could somehow de-stigmatize female sexuality around the world then prostitution and other kinds of sex work wouldn't be so taboo.

Don't get me wrong, Amsterdam is still a fantastic city. It has a lot of deep and rich culture that I love and wouldn't be able to find anywhere else. It has great museums, parks, and public transportation to just begin the list. But the longer I live here, the more I understand how easy it is to romanticize a city like Amsterdam. To paraphrase John Green: a lot of people think of Amsterdam as a city of sin. It's actually a city of freedom, but in freedom a lot of people find sin.

Classes & Groceries

Phew. First week of classes are done! I've finally settled on the two classes that I want to take this semester: Identities in Popular Culture & Media Worlds. The former is all about understanding representation and identity within everyday interactions and ideas while the latter is about the kinds of places and spaces that create meaning. I'm not entirely certain about it yet myself, but seeing as I've only had one class, I think there's plenty of time to learn. I'll let you know when I find out more information.

A lot of my friends are taking a Dutch Language class, but I opted out of it. I would love to be fluent in another language (I'm not sure my current Spanish skills qualify as fluent), but I think for now I'm just going to stick to my phrase book. I can manage simple words and phrases for the time being to get me by, I hope.

In my spare time (I have Monday/Wednesday/Thursday and the weekends off!) I've been going to some museums. Most recently I went to the EYE Film Institute to see the Stanley Kubrick exhibition the day it was closing. I now feel much more acquainted with his films (A Clockwork Orange, The Shining, Full Metal Jacket, Eyes Wide Shut, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Spartacus, Lolita, Dr. Strangelove) and want to watch off the them right now. I haven't made it to a movie theater yet, but that's definitely on my list. Perhaps that'll be a weekend adventure. 

I still find myself in awkward situations every time I go to the grocery store. For starters, you have to weight and label your own produce. Say for example you buy a clove of garlic (knoflook in Dutch!). You might put it in a bag, but you next bring it over to the scale. You find the picture/name of your food and either manually type in the price or just click the button to print out a sticker. In the long run it makes check-out a lot faster--the cashiers just have to scan it instead of remembering 27739472 numbers for produce--but forgetting to do it makes you stand out as a non-local. 1) you have to know the name of your food in Dutch and 2) you have to remember to do it. In contrast, places like Trader Joe's in the US do all the weighing at the counter, and places like Whole Foods have you write down a code that'll translate into a price at the register. Different customs, different systems.

But it isn't just produce that gets me into trouble, it's also everything else! One moment I might be looking at four different labels for butter, or I might be looking at fabric softeners instead of laundry detergents! While it might be frustrating at first, I don't really mind that much. I just need to have a little bit of extra time and patience and I can usually figure out what I'm looking at. Usually. I'm just going to casually forget to mention how quickly the bread (and other fresh items like cheese and meats) goes moldy and thus how frequently it is necessary to go grocery shopping.

In other news, hazelnut and chocolate go very well together. It's the Dutch version of Nutella (hazelnootpasta) and it's delicious. I've also bought some hazelnut chocolate bars, and my roommate has some hazelnut chocolate puff cereal. 

Now on to the pictures!

Salad: the important part here is that I made the salad dressing first at the bottom of the bowl using olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.

Trip to store: Sunrise orange & rum drink (yum!), a strawberry yogurt drink I haven' t tried yet, and the chocolate and hazelnut bar I mentioned above.

@ Van Gogh Museum

@ Football Game!

Marching Band @ Football Game!

The Netherlands (in orange) won 2-0 against Turkey!

The beautiful EYE Film Institute building.

A Dutch tradition: bitterballen on bread...

...properly eaten by smashing them on buttered bread and adding mustard!

Sesame Chicken in Chinatown! It was so delicate, I'd love to go again.

The hazelnut chocolate spread, some random (hit & miss) alcohol mixed drinks, a cork screw, and my breakfast yogurts.

One day for lunch I went with my friend Grace to this little snack bar. I got a cheeseburger with egg and some kind of tropical smoothie; Grace had a "Hawaiburger" and Sprite. Both were lovely albeit messy.

Last night Gabby made this delicious curry with sweat potatoes, spinach, tofu and coconut milk. I had made rice earlier (for the first time ever!) and we combined them together for a delicious dinner.

It's been a great couple of weeks so far and we're just getting started! I'm off to class now! Enjoy.

Happy Wednesday!

I'm trying to space my posts out a bit, but today was just such an awesome day that I can't pass it up. It's worthwhile explaining right here and now before tomorrow begins.

Early in the morning (fine, it was only 10) I went to meet a friend and we rode our bikes to the Van Gogh Museum. I think The Potato Eaters & Irises were my two favorites. The museum will be closing on the 26th of September for renovations, but their permanent collection will be on display at the Hermitage Museum. (Some of their works are also traveling around the States and Canada right now.) I bought a t-shirt, but it's the wrong size and now I have to go back to exchange it. Oh well, it's a beautiful bike ride from my place.

Next I met a friend for lunch and we walked down to a really cute "snack store" and got burgers. I think I'll be frequenting this place quite often. It was cheap & delicious. On our way back we stopped at a farmer's market and I also bought rain pants. It rains that often here that you need rain pants.

By the time I got back to my room some more friends that stopped by to talk to my roommate and we got into some pretty radical discussions about sexuality. It was wonderful & I was sad to have to leave and end it so soon.

It ended up being okay because then I biked to the other side of town where I met more people and we went to a play. So funny story, we thought we were going to a film festival and well... it was a one-woman-act monologue instead. It was ... interesting, but I still enjoyed seeing a show and getting out of the house. It was serious, poetic, enthusiastic and perplexing. It's called Oh My Irma by Haley McGee and here's a link if you're interested: http://www.amsterdamfringefestival.nl/fringe/en/programme/fringe-2012/oh-my-irma.aspx

Upon returning home I decided it was time for dinner (at 10 pm mind you). I wanted to make eggs with onions, garlic, and red pepper along with a salad. I made my salad (same deal as before--lettuce, cucumber, carrots & olive oil/pepper/salt dressing) and then moved on to the eggs. After hunting down matches (I wasn't having much luck with a lighter) I started with the onions. They burned. The smoke alarm went off. I freaked out but got it all under control. Onions went in the trash. But the garlic in the eggs was a wonderful addition to my scrambled eggs! It was still delicious even if I forgot to add red pepper in all the chaos of burning onions.

I'll add pictures tomorrow! Getting up early tomorrow for a morning class and then I've got the afternoon free.

Tot Ziens,
Rachel

Bike Crash!

My gosh do I have a lot of catching up to do. Let's start with the bike crash. On Sunday I went on a bike tour around the city to get to my classes and whatnot, and while I was by Dam Square--the really really touristy part of the city--a biker rode smack dab into me on my bike. I fell down and my bike toppled onto my foot. It was lovely (not) and now I have a sprained ankle. Hey, at least it isn't broken, right?

But before all that chaos I rode with a friend to Waterlooplein and we checked out a flee market where I got a decent leather belt. I then explored two other farmers/flee markets (Noordermarket) in the city on my own. I can't tell you how freeing it is to explore/travel by yourself. Do it if you can.

Yesterday (Monday) marked my first day of classes. Since I love film I went to an American Western film course, but it's all lecture and no discussion. I'm not a fan of that and might drop it. Afterwards I went to Intro to Gender & Sexuality at the University of Amsterdam, but again, I think it's going to be much more introductory than I was expecting. Nevertheless, today I went to my first class of Identities in Popular and it was amazing, awesome, wonderful, fantastic, engaging, and fun. We're basically analyzing objects of culture through the lens of race, nation, gender, and class. My professor even lived in Detroit at one point! Friday brings Media Worlds, which is my fourth class and afterwards I have to choose two classes to keep and two classes to drop. 

A post wouldn't be complete without pictures of my recent meals, so without further ado:

Food @ Grocery Store: sun-dried tomato tortellini, parmesan cheese, raspberry yogurts, a red pepper & some bred. 

Lunch after class: Goat cheese w/honey mustard, pine nuts,  & red pepper with a small bed of greens topped with apple slices. It was delicious!

Bansky? I'm not 100% sure. If anybody can tell if it is, let me know!

MLK Jr. Graffiti! 

I found this excellent farmer's market just down the street from where I do most of my grocery shopping. The prices are excellent, and not too expensive. I've got organic shell pasta, some ginger, organic basil tomato sauce, some mixed berry jam, and three notebooks for classes.

I went on a food adventure last night for dinner. In the far left pot is my tortellini with the basil sauce, and in the far right pan are sautéed carrots, red peppers, and potatoes in a bit of olive oil.

The finished meal! Although you can't really see the veggies hiding underneath....

I'm currently writing this blog post from a cafe that's less than a five minute walk from my dorm room.  I ordered bread with olive tapenade.

I wanted to get mint tea, but they're out of that. Instead I ordered a hot chocolate. It's probably one of the richest hot chocolate's I've ever had, but it's very very good. Also that tiny cookie was amazing. 

Borrels & Things

I'm doing my best to keep up with my blog; however, we just finished orientation week and we've been kept very busy! In exciting news classes start on Monday (tomorrow), and I still need to buy notebooks and other school supplies. The university buildings are spread through-out the entire city and a bike will be needed to travel between classes efficiently. I got a bike yesterday and I'm already very sore. There's a bike tour later today, but it's also supposed to rain. It rains a lot here. I'm finally getting used to it. I really don't mind the rain, and I prefer it to the heat.

I'm also finding it easier to make non-American friends than I was expecting. We had a "borrel" (I think that's how you spell the Dutch term for socializing with drinks) and I met some really cool people I've already had lunch with in the city!

I really do think that the city privileges bikers; there's a separate bike lane for them to use and they even have their own traffic signals! I'll have to take a picture of it soon. I've been really bad with pictures--I've even forgotten to take some of my food, and to make matters worse, my camera charger died. I think I've got it all taken care of now and I'll post what I do have so far.

Lunch @ Atrium: cold green bean salad, lettuce w/ basil dressing, yogurt w/fruit, and some yummy fruit drink I can't remember the name of at the moment.

Snack @ Cafe: hot chocolate w/piece of chocolate.

Lunch on boat: the meats! (Just for the record, the smoked turkey--second from the left--was by far the best!)

First home-made dinner in Amsterdam: scrambled eggs!

Lunch @ pub: cheese, apple, walnut, cucumber sandwich. Yummy.

Drinks w/Nicole: I got orange juice and Nicole got a dark beer of some kind.

Food @ Farmer's Market: (from left to right); carrots, lettuce, cucumber, apricots, raspberries, bananas, salted mixed nuts, bananas, and potatoes.

Second dinner in Amsterdam: salad! I used lettuce, cucumbers,  & carrots, and made a dressing with olive oil and ground pepper.