Alone vs Lonely

I think it's time for another philosophical post. Today's topic is about independence, and the difference between being alone and being lonely. It's something that I finally understood last year at school, but has its own applications here in Amsterdam.

It seems to be "unacceptable" (whatever that means) to go out on your own. I'm not entirely sure why, but I think the implication is that you don't have any friends. And then you're a loser. And nobody will be friends with a loser. Except that's not it at all. I go out on my own all the time. (Unless I'm a loser and nobody has told me yet, in which case, please inform me!)

I go out to explore, to sight-see, to eat, to meet people, and quite frankly, just to be the only one making the decisions. Sure I love being with my friends, but it's a nice change to only have to respond to myself. I've gone to museums to see my favorite paintings alone; I've gone to a café to do homework and get a snack alone; and I've gone to the grocery store to plan my evening meals alone. It's just that. I am by myself and thus I am alone. But I am not lonely. I am independent.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with being lonely, it just requires different steps to be taken. For example, if I felt like I was lonely when going to a museum, I could ask a friend to tag along. (Guess what? I have because I like company, too!) If I was lonely when eating, I could suggest to some friends that we go out for dinner. (I've done that too--good conversations are hard to come-by these days.) It isn't that I don't know how, it's just that sometimes I just want to be by myself. I want to be alone.

I don't really care what other people think, because really, why does it matter? I'm enjoying what I'm doing and I'm comfortable. I don't feel forced to be by myself and I don't feel like it's ostracizing me from my friends. I just like it. Do you?

I encourage you, dear reader, to try it too. Try exploring the city/town/area you live in on your own or going to a new café by yourself. Try biking for the sake of seeing the terrain, or walking to meet a friend somewhere. It's rewarding but it takes patience. It takes patience to be comfortable getting lost and knowing that you'll be able to find your way back. It takes patience to realize that you're going to be okay on your own. It takes patience to be able to fully trust yourself. But you'll get there.

Have any fun adventures? Leave a message in the comments below!